Hey Arnold! Season 6: Second Biennial Parents Day
by Cre8ivelybankrupt87
Summary: In this season 6 finale, Mr. Simmons has organized the second biennial Parents Weekend Tournament, and our football-headed hero actually has parents to compete with this year. Not only that, he has former explorers and adventurers for parents so he's pretty confident in his family's chances of winning the event. As usual, life has a way of turning out different than he plans.
1. Chapter 1: Living the Dream

_**This episode was inspired by a piece of fanart titled "And the Winners Are: The Shortmans!" by Demona-Silverwing, commissioned by HAFanForever, and serves as the cover for this very story. Check out both their work on Deviantart and this very site.**_

_**This story is meant to be the finale of my imagining of a sixth season of Hey Arnold! As a few readers pointed out to me, some of the characters do seemingly act just a bit out of character. This story is meant to be a culmination of their arcs in season 6, and since I had the wonderful foresight to start my little project from the end (it was the first story I had fully formed in my mind), here's a little context.**_

_**Basically, Arnold has been getting a little more cocky now that the big hole in his heart has been filled. He's still an exceptionally good and big-hearted kid of course, but some of the changes in his life are testing him. Helga by contrast, while still a grumpy cynic is showing a little more maturity on occasion from hanging around with Arnold so much. Miriam kind of hit rock bottom earlier in the season, but with the help of Stella and Helga she's finally getting the smoothie habit under control. As a result of Miriam discovering her true potential, she's started standing up to Bob who is now trying (and usually failing) to be more sensitive and less of a jerk. He's a work in progress, but he's at least making an effort.**_

_**As for Stella and Miles, they come across as pretty impossibly perfect in their appearances on the show so I had to elaborate on their weaknesses to keep the drama going. They're both a little goofy from having been asleep for ten years, but Miles is also obviously a klutz, and in "The Journal" Stella exhibited a bit of a fiery temper on occasion, so I figured it would be funny to make those their primary weaknesses in the tournament, with Miles bungling everything and Stella going into a hyper competitive berserker mode. Moreover, I'll probably have Stella and Helga bond with Stella seeing a lot of herself in Helga at a young age.**_

* * *

Deep in the dark jungles of San Lorenzo, two brave swashbucklers furiously cut their way through the underbrush, hotly pursued by their mortal foe. Miles and Stella Shortman were more than just professional colleagues, the bond between them had grown strong since they had first met, and had now forged them into an unstoppable force for good. In his hands, Miles held the mystical Corazon, a sacred relic of the Greeneyes people, that he and Stella had stolen back from the wicked river pirate Lasombra. They had tried to evade him without a fight, but couldn't shake their relentless pursuer. As they burst through the foliage Miles and Stella found themselves at the edge of a cliff, staring down into a misty abyss. From out of the jungle brush behind them emerged Lasombra, brandishing a machete and smiling a wild feral grin.

"There's no escape, you do-gooder gringos." Lasombra said menacingly, "You two have stood in my way for the last time!"

Miles and Stella braced themselves as their deadly enemy readied his weapon. Suddenly from out of the sky, the humming sound of a propellor cut through the jungle air. Lasombra glanced upward to see a red biplane barreling towards him.

"Forget it, Lasombra!" Arnold shouted from the pilot seat of the plane. In an impressive feat of aerial acrobatics, he leapt from the cockpit and and careened out of the sky. With great skill he stuck the landing and stood between his parents and their foe. He struck a fighting stance in defiance.

"No!" Lasombra shouted, "The volcano boy of legend!"

"You're no match for the three of us!" the young boy boldly declared.

"That's right. We're a team. Nothing can stop us." Miles declared, and with a crack of his whip he disarmed Lasombra, sending his weapon flying out of his grip and over the cliff.

"We're unbreakable." Stella said, clenching her fist in a defiant challenge to the deadly pirate.

"Fools! You have defeated me multiple times before, what makes you think you can possibly do it again?" Lasombra retorted.

"You can't win against us!" Arnold cried out triumphantly. "Not so long as we stand together!"

"So presumptuous, as always!" Lasombra grinned maniacally. He reached into his boot sheath and drew a hunting knife, pointed it at Arnold and bellowed, "Then I will have to cut your team down piece by piece!"

He charged forward, bellowing to intimidate them. Arnold and his parents stood together like a brick wall, waiting for just the right moment to counter Lasombra's attack.

"Ready…" Miles said.

"Set…" Stella continued.

Lasombra drew closer and closer until at last Arnold shouted, "Now!"

Just as the pirate reached the three heroes, they all stepped aside, causing him to breeze right past them and over the cliff.

"No! Not again!" He cried out as he fell down into the foggy abyss below. "I'll be back! Same jungle time, same jungle dream!"

Arnold and his parents jumped up and down for joy. Miles lifted Arnold up onto his shoulders and tussled his unruly blonde hair, as Stella hugged them both.

"All right, Arnold!" Stella cheered.

"Yeah Arnold!" Miles chimed in, "Hey, Arnold! Hey, Arnold! Hey, Arnold…"

Miles voice started to taper off as the world around them faded to white, with the sound of his voice replaced by Arnold's alarm clock blaring those same words.

"Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!"

Yawning, Arnold sat up in bed and shut off the alarm. Since that fateful day of finding his long lost parents a few months back, he had been suffering from some waking nightmares, reliving the entire adventure in his sleep only to awaken and fear that it had all been a dream. Eventually this recurring ordeal passed, only to be replaced by nightmares of him and his family being tormented by Lasombra the river pirate. Confronting his fears, Arnold had managed to turn the dreams from nightmares into thrilling fantastical adventures, in which he and his parents always emerged victorious. It was an empowering feeling, and one Arnold relished.

Drawn downstairs by the smell of eggs frying, Arnold flew down the stairs to the dining room. He could see his father cooking eggs in the kitchen and his mother setting the table.

"Morning mom. Morning dad." Arnold said as he stepped into the kitchen, "Where are grandma and grandpa?"

"Sleeping in." Miles said as he flipped an egg in the pan, or at least tried to as it flew up and hit the ceiling, "Oops."

"Phil keeps reminding us we've had ten years of sleep and he wants to catch up." Stella joked.

"And where are all the other boarders?" Arnold asked, noticing the empty dining room.

"I don't think they're very fond of our cooking…" Miles shrugged as he scraped a crisply burnt egg onto a plate. "I just can't work these yolks… ah well, what should we do today, Arnold? Wanna go to the park? Play catch?"

"It's a school day." Arnold reminded him, as had become routine.

"Well yeah…" Miles said shakily, "After. I meant… after?"

"Uh, I'll let you know later." Arnold said with a smile.

"Here you go, Arnold!" Stella grabbed a brown paper bag and handed it to her son, "I remembered this time!"

"Thanks, mom." Arnold smiled. He understood why his mother often didn't remember to pack him a lunch, yet he couldn't help feeling like he was in Helga's shoes with a mother who routinely forgot to pack his lunch.

Knowing his parents were around and always had his back comforted him, in spite of their multiple quirks. Being asleep for ten years in a faraway jungle had certainly done a number on them, and they often struggled with basic functions of day to day life, be it school schedules or occasionally flashing back to their days in the jungle. Hillwood had proved to be am entirely different kind of jungle, and one they had no idea how to navigate half the time. They both had a knack for forgetting he had school, and when they did remember it often took some effort to keep them from joining him in the classroom. In spite of their odd idiosyncrasies, Arnold thought they were pretty cool parents, just as he'd always hoped they'd be.

He waved goodbye to his mom and dad and headed out the front door as his pet pig Abner led the usual parade of animals storming out of the boarding house and into the street. As Arnold followed them he spotted his stalwart friend Gerald waiting at the bottom of the stoop.

"Another day, another disappointment." he said playfully.

"Not today," Arnold said, "I've got a good feeling."

"You always do." Gerald retorted, as the two friends initiated their custom secret handshake before setting off for PS 118. Along the way they met up with their now girlfriends Helga and Phoebe. Gerald and Phoebe linked hands and headed off ahead of the others. They had always gotten along well and seemed to like one another, so it only seemed natural that they'd end up a couple some day. By contrast, even after growing to like Helga, Arnold couldn't help but note what an unlikely pair they were. He tried to hold her hand, only for her to rebuke him as usual.

"PDA is not the Pataki way." she asserted.

"Maybe some day." Arnold smiled.

"That's already way too much rhyming for this early in the morning…" Helga groaned, "C'mon, let's get the stupid school day over with."

Arnold rolled his eyes and gestured for Helga to lead the way. Her constant crankiness didn't keep him down. Life was just too good nowadays.


	2. Chapter 2: This Again?

An hour later Arnold found himself sitting at his desk in his school homeroom. The other kids were all goofing off around him as Mr. Simmons came through the door and attempted to restore order.

"Everyone, listening ears." Mr. Simmons said, "Well class, I have some very special and exciting news. Since it was such a hit last time, I have once again organized the second ever Biennial Parents Day Weekend Tournament! Isn't that great?"

Not even crickets filled the silence that followed. Arnold looked around and surveyed his peers and their reactions, which seemed somewhat mixed, but still inaudible to say the least. Most of the kids looked indifferent, a few reacted with mild quiet excitement, and some with utter contempt.

"Oh great…" Helga groaned aloud at last, running her fingers through her blonde pigtails, "What a joy that was…"

"Just cuz your old man lost to an even older man?" Harold laughed.

Arnold's mind trailed back to the last tournament, in which Helga's dad had dominated most of the games, only to be defeated in the gelatin joust by Grandpa Phil, much to everyone else's delight. Bob's obnoxious competitiveness had everyone rooting against his family by the end, which Helga clearly didn't remember fondly.

"You're not even gonna live to be an old man if you don't shove it now, pink boy." Helga growled at Harold, furrowing her brow.

"Helga, I've told you before, death threats in the classroom are strictly against school policy." Simmons scolded her.

"I don't make threats…" Helga mumbled quietly, "I make promises…"

Arnold had been in Helga's boat last year with regard to his enthusiasm for the tournament. With his parents missing as they had been for most of his life, he didn't favor the idea of drawing any attention to their absence or just having to be reminded of it in general. Now that they were finally back from the jungles of San Lorenzo, Arnold suddenly realized he not only felt eager to compete in the games with them, but also felt strongly about his chance of winning this time.

"Mr. Simmons?" Phoebe raised her hand and piped in, "What will the challenges be this year?"

"Ah yes, well…" Mr. Simmons suddenly looked rather sheepish, "Owing to the busy nature of the sixth grade curriculum as opposed to the fourth and fifth I uh… decided we'd continue very much in the vein of last time."

"You're just recycling all the same stuff again, aren't you?" Helga asked.

"Well, in not so many words…" Simmons shrugged, "Yes… because why mess with a winning formula!"

"Even the gelatin joust?" Arnold asked.

"Especially the gelatin joust." Mr. Simmons affirmed, "What else could be more climactic?"

"Great." Helga moaned, "Same old crap… we can all relive the same demeaning series of humiliations. Ah, the nostalgia… it's like living in a rerun…"

"More like a retread." Stinky chimed in, "Something we've all seen and done before just being repackaged and sold to us again, but what do I know?"

"Very little." Helga muttered.

Arnold ignored his girlfriend's gripes and turned towards Gerald, unable to contain his excitement. He figured he'd try to cheer Helga up later. 'Try' being the operative word.

"This is going to be great." he murmured in Gerald's ear, "With all the adventures my parents have been on these games will be a piece of cake."

"Glad to you actually excited about the games this year." Gerald said, "I can't imagine why."

"Oh yeah." Arnold said, "Me and my parents are gonna win this year… I can feel it."

"Hey, don't count me and my folks out." Gerald teased. "My dad is a veteran after all."

"He was in the medical corps." Arnold reminded him.

"That's right." Gerald smirked, "Which is why he'll be writing us a prescription for victory."

"Good one." Arnold laughed, then leaned back in his chair and grinned smugly. "May the best fam win. But if my grandparents could place second last year, my parents have got this one easily."

"Is that cockiness I hear coming from you, Arnold?" Gerald chuckled, "We'll just have to wait and see. It's Phoebe's family we have to beat, really."

Phoebe heard her name and turned in their direction.

"With all our quiet ninja cunning and strength, we're a formidable but humble force to be reckoned with." she said, "Let's just have fun."

"Oh we will," Arnold said with a smirk, "We definitely will…"

That night at the boarding house Arnold animatedly told his parents the news.

"Parents Day Weekend?" Stella asked, "What's that?"

"And why do they call it Parents Day if it's a two day event?" Miles scratched his head.

"It's this big weekend competition where kids and their parents all compete in a series of outdoor games." Arnold explained, "Kind of a mini olympics. There's a sack race, egg toss, ring toss, and there's this triathlon that ends in a joust over a big bowl of jello!"

"Do we get to use a sword?" Stella asked with unnerving eagerness.

"Um…" Arnold looked at her strangely, "Big foam tipped batons, actually."

"Aw…" Stella groaned in disappointment.

"You two clowns had better get out there and uphold the family name." Phil said as he appeared in the dining room, "Pookie and I managed to get Arnold second place last year and you two need to hold our title. But don't go winning first place, you one-uppers."

"Oh," Arnold said, suddenly feeling guilty, "Grandpa? Grandma? I… I don't want you to feel left out-"

His grandmother abruptly cut him off with a loud manic laugh as she burst onto the scene, donned in her cheerleader outfit.

"Arnold! Arnold! He's our man! Miles and Stella, kick some can!" she chanted as Phil joined in the ensuing laughter.

"Oh, we don't need to take part in all that horse hockey again. You've got your A squad now, short man," Grandpa laughed as he tussled his grandson's hair, "We'll be there cheering from the sidelines. And if some horrible unforeseen calamity happens, like if your mom and dad get hit by a falling satellite, then your B squad will be waiting in the wings to take over."

"Thanks, dad…" Miles said. "That's really… reassuring."

"Well, you two did disappear in the jungle and fall asleep for ten years, so excuse me if I don't think you're entirely dependable." Grandpa chided.

"So you keep reminding us." Stella sighed.

"Hey, what's family for if not to remind you of your many shortcomings, right short man?" Phil laughed, and got a chuckle out of Arnold too.

"Yeah?" Stella replied with a wry smile, "We'll show you what we can do, old man. We're going to kick everyone's butt." She pounded her fist agains her palm and grinned. "I can't wait…"

"Just watch out for that Pataki character," Grandpa warned, "He does _not_ fight clean."

"Neither does she…" Miles chuckled, gesturing at Stella, "Trust me. It's kind of scary to see… but also strangely attractive…"

Stella laughed warmly and shook her head, "It's true. I get just a little competitive… sometimes I forget myself."

Arnold just smiled. The enthusiasm his parents exhibited only reaffirmed what he already felt in his gut; this was their year. The Shortmans were going to win the Parents Day Weekend tournament. He could just picture it in his mind's eye... there he sat triumphantly on his parent's shoulders. His mother and father cheered adoringly as Arnold held aloft the trophy, all three of them reveling in their success, the kind he'd waited for for so long. Standing nearby, Helga clasped her hands together in girlish adoration, showing her true colors that she often hid behind her tough uncaring guise... and just for added icing on the cake her father had once again ended up dunked in a giant bowl of gelatin. Arnold felt determined to make this picture a reality.

* * *

**Meheheh, meta. This whole story was inspired by Demona-Silverwing's depiction of Arnold's family winning Parent's day, and... well... read to the end.**


	3. Chapter 3: Reality Hurts

On the day of the competition, all the kids and their parents turned out in force. Grandpa and Grandma had started cheering from the bleachers before anything had even gotten underway, but Arnold didn't mind. All the other family were getting prepared with their own individual rituals and warm ups, everything from jumping jacks to praying aloud. He glanced over where the Pataki family stood, conversing and strategizing. Helga's dad Big Bob was already giving his battle speech as Miriam nodded.

"We've got this." Bob said, "This is gonna be our year. I can feel it. We were close last time, but this year you two are gonna win me that- I mean, uh… we're gonna win that trophy for… us! We. Patakis. We're uh, we're a team, and there's no Big Bob in team. Yeah."

"Way to turn over a new leaf, Bob." Helga said as she rolled her eyes.

Arnold felt bad for Helga. Her father may have been a formidable contender in the competition, but he wasn't exactly known for making it any fun for anyone. Her mother meanwhile struggled to remain awake most of the time, owing to her love of what she referred to as 'smoothies.' He did notice however that Miriam looked unusually spry and awake today.

The voice of Mr. Simmons rang out above the crowd, boosted by a sound system. Everyone turned to the grandstand where he stood alongside the trophy.

"Good morning, students and parents of PS118!" he announced, "And welcome to the second biennial Parents Tournament Weekend! Curly?"

Last time, Eugene had been the bearer of the symbolic torch to begin the tournament, but being a consummate klutz he had tripped on his way to the grandstand. He apparently had no desire to keep that job, as this year Curly had been chosen as the torch bearer, but was nowhere to be seen. However, as everyone glanced around they could just hear the faint sound of maniacal laughter in the distance, followed by the words 'burn, burn, burn.'

"Um… Curly seems to have absconded with the torch, so we'll just begin without that bit… Mr. and Mrs. Gammelthorpe? You might want to go find your son."

Curly's parents ran off to search for their loopy son as Helga smirked at Phoebe.

"Good thing it's not a real torch or we'd all be dead…" she quipped.

"As you may or may not remember, by tomorrow one very special family will take home this trophy as a symbol of victory!" Mr. Simmons announced, holding aloft the trophy, "But remember you're all winners-"

"And the title of best parent!" Big Bob bellowed. Miriam and Helga gave him a look which caused him to backtrack, "Oh right… I mean, everyone's a winner… ya bunch of snowflakes…"

"Let the games begin!" Mr. Simmons shouted with excitement.

Arnold smiled, excited at the prospect of his parents beating Big Bob and knocking him down a few pegs. Just as the thought crossed his mind however, he noticed his mom marching over to the Patakis and pointing a finger in Big Bob's face, much to Arnold's shock.

"You'd better watch your back, big boy." Stella warned, "We're winning this one. You'd better stay out of our way."

Turning to Miriam and Helga she immediately dropped her hostile tone and waved to her.

"Hi Miriam. Hi Helga. Good luck!" she said sweetly.

Miriam, Bob and Helga looked slightly taken aback by Stella's sudden mood shift. Jarringly, she abruptly got her game face back as she turned to Bob again.

"We're gonna wipe the floor with you… Beeper King." she hissed. "We're still in our prime."

"Big talk, little lady," Bob said, regaining his bravado, "I've learned from past mistakes, and this year I got this whole game figured out."

"Oh yeah?" Stella huffed, "What do you say we make it more interesting?"

"Calm down, honey… it's just a game." Miles tried to calm his wife down to no avail.

"Oh yeah?" Bob asked, "Sounds like you've got a wager in mind."

"Darn right," Stella said, "Whichever team loses has to throw the other a victory party."

"Dinner on your dime, huh?" Bob said, "Fine. You're on."

Big Bob and Stella shook hands firmly as daggers shot out of their eyes at one another. Arnold rushed over and grabbed Stella's hand.

"Come on mom…" he said.

Helga stepped over to him and stared down at him.

"Ready to lose, Arnaldo?" Helga asked, with a cocked eyebrow.

"Nope." Arnold said.

"Too bad." Helga grinned, "Because this time you've actually got parents, so I'm completely conscience free and not pulling any punches.

"I'd expect nothing less." Arnold smiled.

"I mean it, short man," Helga crossed her arms, "I've got absolutely zero qualms about kicking your butt."

Arnold grinned, "You mean… zero qualx?" He said in reference to the time Helga had lost to him in the citywide spelling bee by misspelling 'qualm' with an X.

Helga grinned in return, "Not bad, Arnold, but comebacks aren't gonna save you. This is gonna be your Waterloo."

"Whatever you say, Helga." Arnold shook his head. "Then call me Wellington."

Helga smiled and winked, "Good luck, Napoleon."

Just like the previous tournament, the games began with a sack race that paired up every kid with one of their parents in a race to the red ribbon finish line. Arnold and his dad climbed into a sack together, both raring to go. At the sound of Mr. Simmons' whistle, all the teams took off hopping. Miles and Arnold barreled past Bob and Helga. Arnold could feel his heart racing as they moved far out in front of the other teams. Just as he'd hoped and expected, they were winning the first competition, but just as they drew near the finish line, suddenly he could feel them both losing their balance.

"Whoa!" Miles cried out. Before Arnold knew it, both he and his dad went tumbling over one another and landed flat on their faces. Dazed and confused, Arnold looked up just in time to see Bob and Helga rush past them.

"Eat our dust, Shortmans!" Bob jeered as he crossed the finish line to victory.

"All right!" Helga shouted, "Nice hopping, dad!"

"Hey, you did good too, Ol- uh, Helga. Ol' Helga." Bob congratulated her, catching himself from calling her by her sister's name, as he was wont to do.

"Nice save…" Helga muttered as the two of them pounded their fists.

Arnold crawled out of the sack and slowly rose to his feet just in time to see all the other teams cross the finish line. He didn't see what had tripped them, but in hindsight he realized his dad, not known for his gracefulness probably wasn't the best choice for the sack race. Stella came rushing over to them and voiced the same sentiment.

"Should've let me do it." Stella said, shaking her head.

"You can have the next one." Miles said, "What's next?"

"The pie toss, I think." Arnold said, "The kids all throw pies at their parents."

Stella's face sank. Turning to Miles she said, "On second thought… I'll let you have this one too."

Just as Arnold thought, next came the pie toss. At Stella's urging, Miles volunteered to let Arnold pelt him with pies. As Stella watched the other kids plastering their parents faces with bursts of cherry until Arnold at last stepped up to take his shot. Aiming carefully he hurled his pie with all his might at his dad. To both his and his mother's surprise, the pie careened past the stocks, missing the mark entirely.

"Nice aim, football head." Helga laughed, "At least you can hit the ground! But I guess gravity deserves the credit for that."

Stella clenched up her fist and furrowed her brow. She then watched as Arnold tried again and again, clearly having lost his focus and confidence, because he managed to miss time after time. Finally she couldn't stand it anymore.

"Let a pro show you how it's done!" she said, grabbing the last pie from Arnold she pelted it as hard as she could. The pie found its mark, just not the right one.

"Hey!" Big Bob shouted in fury as Stella's pie collided with his face, "What in the name of criminey do you think you're doing, lady?"

"Mom…" Arnold tugged at his mom's arm, "You were supposed to throw it at… I mean, I was supposed to throw it at-"

"Gimme another one!" Stella shouted, "I'll go for two! Wow, that felt good…"

Before Stella could pelt Bob with any more pies, Mr. Simmons intervened, saying "I'm very sorry Mrs. Shortman but the children were supposed to throw the pies… and you hit Mr. Pataki so I'm afraid that doesn't count anyway-"

"What?" Stella shouted, "I hit him!"

"Well, yes but… that's not the object of the…" Simmons tried to explain himself, but to no avail. Stella's intensely competitive spirit had sent her into full on berserker mode, sending Simmons slinking away in fear.

"Mom…" Arnold groaned, "We have to play by the rules…"

"Oh come on, to win we have to get a little creative!" Stella insisted.

"Creative within the rules," Arnold pleaded.

"He's right, Stella," Miles added, "This isn't the jungle, Stella, there are rules."

"Oh, because you're doing so much better?" Stella shot back.

"Mom!" Arnold gasped, surprised by his own mother's ferocity.

Stella's expression suddenly softened, as if an entirely different person had taken over her.

"Sorry," she said, "We'll do better in the next event, I'll bet."

"Right." Arnold said, trying to remain optimistic.

Next came the ring toss. Stella wanted to do this one, but Miles insisted he'd had a lot of practice in this area. Stella reluctantly relented.

"Don't you worry, your grandpa taught me everything I know about ring toss." Miles said confidently.

Finally Miles managed to offer some hope to Arnold, in a competition rapidly going downhill for their team. Grandpa Phil had indeed proved himself an olympian level ring tosser last year, managing to hit his mark with his back turned, so hopefully he had passed the same skills down to his boy. Like his father before him, Miles turned his back to the target. He had to know what he was doing for sure. Miles threw the ring over his shoulder, just as his own father had so expertly done in the last tournament. With far less finesse and skill however, he threw the ring which flew straight past the target and hit the hapless Eugene right in the face.

"I'm okay…" Eugene groaned.

Arnold could barely believe his eyes, and yet sadly he wasn't surprised either.

"Everything you know?" Stella asked, sardonically.

"Uh, yeah…" Miles said sheepishly, "But not everything he knew I guess."

Miles made several more galant attempts, but even with his eyes glued to the stake none of his throws landed even close. To throw salt into the wound, Big Bob managed to hit his mark. Arnold groaned and looked away as Helga's uproarious cheering got on his nerves.

"Gimme that." Stella at last intervened. She grabbed the last ring from Miles and threw it with all her might. The ring found a mark, but sadly not the intended target, but instead Mr. Simmons' face. The force of the ring caused him to fall off his feet and flat on his back.

"Oops." Stella smiled sheepishly.

"I'm… afraid I'll have to disqualify you this round… Mrs. Shortman…" Simmons groaned as Phoebe and her parents helped him to his feet.

Once again Arnold could not believe what a disaster his team was proving to be. Still, this was still pretty early in the games, which gave them plenty of chances to turn things around, he thought to himself without much confidence.

What waning confidence Arnold had after the ring toss had been largely decimated few events later. From lawn bowling to lawn darts, his parents hadn't exactly performed at the level he expected, and if anything were just embarrassing him with their repeated bungling, but at least they didn't injure many people with the lawn darts; Eugene insisted he was okay. As his feelings of doubt and disappointment grew, Arnold admonished himself, knowing how difficult it had to be for his parents given their past experiences. He still had faith that they'd come through in the end. Not much faith, but faith nonetheless.

"It's time for our final event of the day, the egg toss!" Simons announced.

"Piece of cake." said Miles, "Ready, Arnold? All the catch we've played should have us prepped for this?"

"We… haven't really played catch, dad…" Arnold said.

"Oh… oh yeah," Miles chuckled, "Well, no time like the present. Ready?"

"Sure dad…" Arnold said with some reservation. He couldn't deny that his usual optimism had been dampened to put it mildly. He had expected his parents to be shoe-ins for victory every round, but by this point he was skeptical if his dad could throw an egg in a straight line without breaking it.

"Better let me take this round." Stella said. "My aim is better."

"Sounds good to me." Miles shrugged, "Good luck!"

"Luck?" Stella scoffed, "I don't need luck. We've got skill."

Arnold frowned. The usual banter between his parents had grown progressively less friendly as Stella's competitiveness seemed to overtake her usual pleasant nature. He had to raise morale.

"Go team Shortman!" he said shakily, trying to sound confident.

His parents looked at one another, then smiled at him. All three of them bumped fists and then joined the other teams taking their positions standing across the field from one another. Mr. Simmons blew his whistle and signaled for everyone to begin throwing.

"Catch, mom!" Arnold called out as he tossed her the egg carefully.

To Arnold's surprise she actually caught it with ease. His heart soared in that moment, finally something had gone right today. A small victory, but hopefully it'd be the first step towards recovering their failing score.

"Here it comes, Arnold!" Stella shouted as she flung the egg in his direction.

Arnold held out his hands but the egg came careening towards him much faster than he'd expected. Flying right through his hands, the egg collided with his forehead and smashed, covering his face with yolk and white.

"Oops." Stella covered her mouth, "Guess I don't know my own strength… sorry Arnold."

"What's the matter Arnold?" Helga taunted, "You look like you've got egg on your face as the saying goes… oh wait, you literally do! Ha!"

Arnold didn't even have it in him to care at this point that Helga was being so cocky, and rubbing things in his face. He'd expected to be Wellington at Waterloo today, but was leaving feeling more like Napoleon, as Helga's little metaphor had earlier suggested. As Arnold bitterly wiped the egg off his face his grandpa came over and proceeded to dampen the mood further.

"Well, that could've gone worse." Grandpa shook his head, "Wait a minute, no it couldn't have. What happened to you two out there? You're a mess."

"Way to point out the obvious. I mean… we still have the second half tomorrow," Stella said, "We can still turn it around."

"Oh yes, and maybe Abner will sprout wings, too," Grandpa chuckled, "Need Pookie and me to step in?"

Arnold shook his head, "Thanks grandpa but… mom's right. I think we can still win this… or at least place or something. We just need to strategize."

"Well my strategy is to go home and order us some Chinese." Grandpa said, "Come on, Grandpa's hungry."

Later that evening, once they had all eaten their weight in chop suey and kung pao chicken, the Shortman family discussed their plans for the next stage of the tournament.

"We just have to try harder." Stella said, "There's no way I'm losing to Big Bob… to beat him we just have to be even more savage than he is."

"Might help if we tried a more cautious approach." Miles suggested, "Speaking for myself of course."

"You can say that again…" Stella smirked.

"Let's just not lose sight of the fact that we're a team," Arnold said, "If we're going to win we just need to support one another, and use our own strengths to our advantage."

Miles and Stella looked at their boy and smiled.

"You're right, Arnold." Stella said, "Now let's see, my strengths… speed, stamina and strength… Miles… well, you have a lot of heart."

"Thanks honey…" Miles rolled his eyes.

Arnold's heart sank. He knew his parents loved one another dearly, and they had their friendly banter taking playful shots at one another, but this time it seemed to be hurting their team spirit.

"This is going to be harder than I thought…" Arnold muttered.


	4. Chapter 4: The Last Stand

Bright and early the next day, all the families returned to the park for round two. The Patakis were looking intolerably smug and confident, and though he was sure it was in his imagination Arnold couldn't help but feel the other teams were laughing at his. Today was the day they'd snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, he thought to himself. Anything is possible.

"Welcome back everyone!" Mr. Simmons announced, "Let round two begin!"

The wheelbarrow race came first, with all the kids holding a wheel and axel in their hands as their parents held them up by their legs behind them. Stella pushed Arnold while running as fast as she could, and they found themselves head to head with Helga and Miriam leading the pack. Stella looked at Miriam and scowled, and suddenly she accidentally steered Arnold into Helga.

"Hey!" Arnold cried out as he swerved.

Helga was unfazed but Arnold tumbled out of control and fell, as the Patakis once again left him in the dust. Arnold groaned, disappointed and not surprised once again.

"Oops." Stella said, "Took my eyes off the prize there."

Next came the relay race, in which one parent would carry their kid on their shoulders and hand them off to their partner like a baton. Miles ran towards Stella with Arnold atop his shoulders, using his long legs to his advantage. He managed to take the lead ahead of the others, but started to lose his balance again as he approached Stella at the halfway mark.

"Don't panic!" Miles shouted, "Don't panic!"

"I wasn't panicking until you told me don't panic!" Stella shot back.

"Ready, Arnold?" Miles shouted.

Arnold leapt from his father's shoulders just as he finally lost his balance and went down hard. Arnold couldn't believe it, they were actually winning this one. Stella ran as fast as she could but suddenly from behind them Miriam breezed by carrying Helga, moving with all the swiftness and grace of a gazelle.

"Hey, great job Miriam!" Bob bellowed.

"Please don't drop me, please don't drop me, please don't drop me…" Helga chanted to herself quietly.

To the amazement of Helga, Arnold and Stella, Miriam sailed right past the finish line claiming victory for the Pataki team once again. Arnold groaned aloud, and Stella patted him on the back.

"Hey, we were close." she said encouragingly, "We're getting better and better."

"Might be too little too late by now though…" Arnold said.

"And now the moment you've all been waiting for, we have reached our final and most exciting challenge yet, the triathlon!" Mr. Simmons announced, "In this series of arduous tasks, each team must pass their baton from child to parent to other parent all building to the balance beam gelatin joust!"

Arnold had all but given up hope now, yet a faint glimmer of light still kept him going. Winning the tournament was far out of reach by this point, but it would at least be some consolation is his team could win this last game.

"And our first teams up are Helga's and Arnold's." Mr. Simmons said into the bullhorn.

"That's a weird deja vu…" Helga smacked herself on the forehead, "The universe just keeps throwing us together like that…"

"Oh great…" Bob groaned, "This brings back some great memories…"

"B? You take the climbing wall. I'm doing the joust this year." Miriam asserted.

"What? You sure, Miriam?" Bob asked.

"It'll take more than just brute force to win this one," Miriam said, "You've got the upper body strength for the climbing wall, and it'll take balance, leverage and a little creativity to win the joust. Trust me."

"Yeah, but your center of balance isn't exactly the greatest…" Bob shrugged, "But, alright. Better you in the jello than me this time…"

Neck in neck, Arnold and Helga pedaled their cycles towards Bob and Miles, and with grace and fluidity as if their movements had been choreographed they skidded to a halt as their fathers grabbed the batons and began their ascent. Miles got off to a head start and didn't falter as Bob struggled against his higher center of gravity. To Arnold's amazement Miles made it to the top without falling. As Bob still trailed behind Miles grabbed the zip line and slid across the wire towards Stella awaiting him atop the balance beam. So far so good. Unfortunately he managed to knock her in the face with the baton in the process of handing it off.

"Sorry!" he shouted as he slid by.

Stella shrugged it off quickly and turned her attention to the unarmed Miriam. She immediately advanced on her, seizing the opportunity. She took her first swing but Miriam evaded it. Just then Bob slid over them, giving Miriam the baton and leveling the playing field.

"Hey, Helga!" Harold shouted, "Your mom doesn't stand a chance against Arnold's mom! Ha ha ha!"

Helga made a fist but didn't make any physical contact with the jeering boy.

"If I wanted any more crap out of you, I'd squeeze your head, tubby." she growled.

Completely focused on one another, Stella and Miriam stared on another down. Arnold was used to seeing Stella's intense game face by now, but the look in Miriam's eye had him worried. Her normally vacant and dazed expression had been replaced with one of determination and clear focus. Stella took the first swing, but Miriam ducked and evaded her strike with ease. Over and over, Stella swung and missed.

"Feeling dizzy yet?" Stella taunted.

"Oh no, this is invigorating," Miriam said calmly, "I haven't felt this alive since my bull riding days."

"Mess with this bull, and you'll get the horns!" Stella laughed.

"I am so attracted to her right now…" Miles muttered to himself. Arnold didn't quite hear him but gave him a strange look.

Stella swung again and again, as Miriam gracefully and fluidly dodged each blow, never countering her attacks but instead letting Stella run herself down. Arnold looked over at Big Bob and Helga who shared the same flabbergasted expressions at Miriam's performance. Normally the woman struggled just to get off the couch, but today she was showing her true potential.

"All right, no more Mr. nice mom…" Stella growled.

"I'll let you have one for free." Miriam said, lowering her baton and goaded Stella to hit her.

"I don't need your charity…" Stella retorted, "But I'll take it anyway!"

As he watched the two mothers duke it out, Arnold felt a strange sense of deja vu. Stella took Miriam's bait and lunged. Cleverly using Stella's own forward force against her, Miriam stepped just out of the way and let Stella fall right past her. Miriam then delivered her first and final blow and sent Stella falling face first off the beam and into the gelatin with a loud splat. Arnold's jaw fell. They'd lost the final challenge. Not that it would have made a difference at this point, but now the reality finally sunk in that his family hadn't won a single challenge. Miriam had used the same maneuver he and his parents had used against Lasombra in his dream, which felt cruelly ironic. Stella emerged from the Jello, gasping and shouting words Arnold didn't dare repeat.

"Yeah, mom!" Helga cried out for joy, jumping up and down. "That was amazing!"

"Mother tongue!" Bob smacked himself upside the head, "I never knew she had it in her…"

"There's a lot you don't know about her." Helga smiled.

Not taking any time to strike a victory pose, Miriam jumped off the beam and offered Stella a helping hand. Reluctantly, Stella took Miriam's hand and let her pull her out of the gelatin.

"Well…" Stella licked her lips, "Defeat never tasted sweeter…"

"I could go for a smoothie now…" Miriam sighed in her normal droning voice.

All the adults and kids gathered around Mr. Simmons and awaited his announcement.

"Okay, people. All the scores have been tabulated, and the winners of this year's Parents Day Weekend Tournament are Helga, Miriam and Bob Pataki!" Simmons cheerfully announced. "And in second place, we have the families of Gerald Johansen, and in third Phoebe Hyerdahl!" Simmons added.

The crowd cheered Helga's family as she reacted with surprise and amazement.

Bob looked completely dumfounded for a split second, then began shouting for joy.

"We won?" he gasped, "Mother Theresa! We won!"

"Yeah!" Helga cheered, "All right! Team Pataki for the win, baby!"

Turning to Helga, Bob lifted his daughter up onto his shoulders and started gloating.

"That's right! This is my girl! I got the best daughter, folks!"

Miriam squeezed his arm, "Now, B… we talked about this. We were gonna be gracious in defeat, and humble in victory."

"Yeah, that was before I thought we could win!" Bob laughed.

Helga rolled her eyes. Even at his best, Bob was still Bob. Still, she had a hard time not feeling true joy and pride in her family for a change, and was beginning to accept them for all their less than ideal qualities. At least they were finally trying to be there for her.

"Yeah, Helga!" Phoebe shouted and gave her friend the thumbs up which Helga returned.

Standing off to the side, the Shortmans looked far less enthusiastic. Miles and Stella exchanged looks of embarrassment and disappointment in themselves, while Arnold looked completely crushed. Seeing his son's distress, Miles quietly tried to reassure him that the world hand't ended.

"At least we had fun, right?" he said.

"I wouldn't say that…" Arnold said bitterly.

"Ah well," Miles said nonchalantly with a shrug, "There's always next year, right Arnold?"

"There won't be a next year…" Arnold groaned, and with that he turned on his heel and stormed off.

"Arnold?" Miles called after him, but Arnold just kept walking with his hands in his pockets.

Stella turned to Miles and murmured, "We messed this up big time, didn't we?"

"That's an understatement." Phil said, appearing from behind them, "I didn't want you to one-up Pookie and me, but jeez! I didn't think you'd blow it that bad."

"Thanks, dad…" Miles groaned.

"I mean, wow. Even Pookie and I at the age of a hundred and whatever ran circles around you two." Phil pressed on.

"I think you've made your point…" Miles grumbled.

"I mean holy jeezers. I think the order goes… Hindenberg, Pearl Harbor, Pompeii, Titanic, and then this. Oh the humanity!" Phil cried out, "So, dinner at 7. See you at home for your big consolation party."

With a wave he headed back to the Packard, leaving Miles and Stella in a speechless daze.

Atop Bob's shoulders, Helga witnessed Arnold sulking away. Fraught with concern for her beloved, she fought her way back down to the ground and set off after him. Miles and Stella started to follow her but she halted them.

"Gimme a minute or two with him," she said, "Trust me. This is gonna take my delicate touch."


	5. Chapter 5: Infectious Idealism

Arnold stood by the pond in the middle of the park, far from the festivities. He fully realized what a sore loser he was being, and even felt like a bit of a jerk for not even congratulating the winners, but in this instance he just couldn't deal with any of that. He realized he had set himself up for disappointment, but after being such an underdog at the last competition he earnestly thought his parents had this one in the bag. He figured if his grandparents could come in second place there was no way his real parents could lose. He'd never even considered they wouldn't even place, much less come in dead last. Spotting a rock, he kicked it into the pond and groaned in frustration.

"Arnold?" he suddenly heard Helga's voice, sounding unusually soft and full of concern. Despite her tone, Arnold just couldn't help himself.

"What?" he asked in a bitter tone.

"You okay, Arnold?" she asked, sounding completely sincere.

"What do you think?" he huffed, "What? Did you come to gloat? Your dad must be so proud…"

Helga's brow furrowed, but she softened just as quickly.

"Hey, that's not the Arnold I know talking." she said, "The Arnold I know would've just shrugged this off and given his team some feel good speech about how they all tried their best."

"Well, what if I'm not that Arnold anymore?" he snapped back at her, "What if things have changed? What if this time I really wanted this?"

"We all did." Helga said, "But as Simmons says, everyone wins at this thing. The trophy is just a symbol… or some such crap." She realized she wasn't helping and switched tact, "Oh, come on Arnold. It's just a dumb little friendly competition, it's not worth getting sore about. By tomorrow, it'll be old news. Well, except for my dad… I'm gonna be hearing about this for days… he's a sore loser for sure, but he's way more obnoxious in victory."

Arnold cooled down slightly. He knew she was right, but he couldn't help what he felt. With a heavy sigh he slumped onto a bench and rested his head in his hands.

"It's not just the competition…" Arnold sighed, "After all these years of my parents being gone, I thought now that they're back we'd make a great team, but we just didn't, and this isn't how I thought it would be. We just didn't get anything right…"

"Yep, and that's just kind of how it is sometimes." Helga shrugged, as she sat down next to him, "Or in the case of my family, most of the time."

"The whole thing was just so embarrassing." Arnold sighed.

Helga nodded, "Yep. Welcome to having parents, Arnoldo. It's kind of what they do best."

"I just never expected my parents to be like…" Arnold stopped himself as he noticed Helga's eyebrow raise.

"Like mine." she finished for him.

"Well, no…" Arnold said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment, "I just meant… you know, I heard so many stories about them and… they just sounded so great and I just thought they'd be more… I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Oh, you're breaking my heart, Arnoldo." Helga said sardonically, "Please, I know my dad's a big blowhard, my mom is a mess on a good day, my sister is an annoying, pampered, prissy, perfect, princess pants, and they hardly ever give me the time of day, but… I'm still glad that I have them. I just forget that sometimes." Helga sighed as she looked down at her feet, "Especially after what happened in the jungle last summer, now I really know how lucky I am to have them. I know it's never going to be perfect. Heck, most of the time I can't even stand them, but I think we try to do a little better every day. We fight, we get on each others nerves, we screw up, but… it's always worth it to go through all that crap just to get to those little moments where we realize what's really important; that we're together."

Arnold looked at her strangely, as if he didn't even know who she was for a moment. Helga too seemed surprised by herself.

"Okay, it's official, I've been spending way to much time around you, football head." she said, with her usual snark entering back into her voice, "Seriously, now you're the bitter one, and I'm the one espousing sagely life advice? What kind of bizzaro alternate dimension have we stumbled into?"

Arnold chuckled, in spite of himself. Not ready to snap out of his funk however, he quickly covered his reaction and returned to grimacing. Helga smiled and pressed on.

"Look, your parents might be total goofs, but they wanted to win just as bad as you. They gave it their all," she said, "And besides, I see the way they look at you. They adore you, and I'd take that over some dumb trophy any day."

Arnold struggled to hold back a smile. Helga noticed this, smiled and lightly punched his shoulder.

"You're okay." she said, "Just wait and see. Everything's gonna be fine."

"Yeah…" Arnold nodded and looked into her eyes. He couldn't believe how good Helga had gotten at comforting him in his darkest times. "As long as you're around." He added.

"Oh like I'd ever leave you alone." Helga leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush.

"C'mon, football head," she said, tugging at his sleeve, "I think your folks are worried about you."

Arnold sighed and stood up. Then turned to Helga and smiled, "Thanks, Helga. You really are the best."

"Well, doi," Helga laughed, "I won this thing, didn't I?"

Back at the competition grounds, Bob hadn't yet ceased in his revelry, much to the annoyance of all the other families. Miles and Stella were able to tune him out, with much worse concerns on their mind concerning their son. Suddenly their boy's voice appeared behind them.

"Mom… dad…?" Arnold spoke softly.

"Hey, Arnold." Miles and Stella said in unison, turning to face him.

"I'm… I'm sorry I stormed off like that." Arnold said, "Sorry I got so upset at you guys."

"Hey, it's okay, son." Miles said as he knelt down and placed his hand on Arnold's shoulder.

"We're disappointed too." Stella said, "But not with you. You did great out there, even if we were hopeless."

Arnold smiled, "I was just thinking about all those years I didn't know where you were, or even what happened to you, and how I always wished we could win something like this together." Arnold said, "But… I remember now. I didn't want you guys around just so we could win parents weekend. I just wanted you around so you'd… be around. I guess I just sort of forgot that. We lost today, but… just having you guys in my life is the real prize."

Miles and Stella hugged their boy. They may have endured repeated humiliation and injury over the past two days, but for here and now everything was right in their world.

"We're proud of you son, no matter what." Miles said. "Some day maybe we'll get the hang of this whole parenting thing."

"Yeah well," Arnold said with a wry smile, "Maybe you guys need to take another trip."

After a palpable pause between him and his parents, all three of them burst into laughter, just as Gerald and Phoebe came wandering over, both of them wearing their second and third place ribbons.

"Check it out, we match." Gerald said.

"You don't really want to wear these home, do you?" Phoebe asked. "I feel sort of silly with it."

"Hey, you won last year, I didn't get squat. I'm happy just to place this time, and I'm gonna milk it." Gerald said as he adjusted his ribbon, then turned his attention to Arnold, "Hey buddy. You doing alright?"

"Yeah, Gerald." Arnold smiled, and stuck out his fist, which Gerald bumped, "Congratulations. You guys did great. And you too, Phoebe."

"I'm just happy for Helga's family," Phoebe said, "They needed a win."

They turned their heads in Bib Bob's direction, who was still reveling in glory.

"That's right! Best parents, right here! We're the best! And don't forget to head on over to Big Bob's Beeper Emporium! We've got the best deals on all the mobile crap you need to live your pathetic little lives!"

Gerald crossed his arms and shook his head, saying, "Mm, mm, mm, he really needs to work on his sales pitch."

Miles looked over at Bob and shook his head. Stella looked and Miles and nudged him.

"Hey, Bob!" Miles shouted, "You beat us fair and square. Dinner at our place to celebrate?"

"Are you kidding?" Bob laughed, "You're taking me and the girls out to Lake Union Steakhouse! And I'm ordering myself a whole rack of lamb for three!"

Bob pumped his fists, still reveling in victory, but he softened a bit when he saw the faces of his family and of the Shortmans.

"B…" Miriam said, slightly scoldingly.

"Uh…" Bob shrugged, "I mean… uh, yeah, sure that sounds great… thanks. Just none of that vegan stuff. And nothing too foreign. Just something good and all-American."

"Burgers and hot dogs it is then." Miles shrugged.

"If it's food, I'll eat it," Helga said, "Now let's get outta here. I'm famished."


	6. Chapter 6: The Beginning

Stella made good on her bet with Big Bob, and the Shortmans hosted the Patakis at the boarding house for a celebratory dinner that evening. In spite of Grandpa's misgivings, the evening progressed in a far more friendlier manner than could have been expected. Despite past altercations between the families the union between their kids had brought out the best in everyone. After dinner, Arnold stood atop his roof staring at the sunset over the city skyline, seeking some quiet. The raucous belly laughs of his and Helga's family still sounded through the house and vibrated beneath his feet, though that just pleased him further. He was still amazed that they all got along, especially with Big Bob in the mix, but somehow they all just clicked. He felt a certain amount of accomplishment at playing his part in bringing out the best in Helga's dad, and hoped that if he stayed the course it could mean a brighter future for the girl he loved.

Arnold inhaled deeply and paused to reflect. Even amid the chaos all around him, Arnold felt he had found his inner peace once again, so long as he remembered what mattered in this crazy ride he called life. Behind him he could hear footsteps approaching.

"It really is something." Helga's voice appeared, "This view of yours."

"Congratulations." Arnold said, "You and your parents deserved it."

"Are you still on that? Please." Helga shook her head and tussled Arnold's hair, "I don't care about that. I've already won the real prize."

Helga then rested her head on Arnold's shoulder, which was no small task given their height difference. Arnold couldn't help but appreciate how much everything had changed in the last year. His long lost parents had miraculously returned, and he had fallen in love with the last girl he'd ever expected to; his former bully, Helga his personal demon, and somehow also his guardian angel. The two of them had gone through several trials as they struggled to figure out their complicated relationship, but for there seemed to be a mutual feeling of contentedness and peace between them, as if they had melded together to form a lasting bond. Many of the changes of their adolescence were still confusing if not scary, but Arnold had no desire to return to a time before he and Helga felt so strongly for one another.

As if reading his mind, Helga lifted her head and mused, "Everything just keeps changing... "

"Yeah." Arnold said contentedly, "But life wouldn't be an adventure if it all stayed the same. And whatever comes, we'll all face it together."

The young couple stared off into the spectacular sunset, blanketing the whole city in its warm orange glow. Arnold turned his head to Helga, who returned his loving gaze and they smiled at one another. Arnold stretched out his hand to her and she took it, and together they gazed off into a future of endless possibilities.

The End

* * *

_**Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. Yes, that last little moment was meant to mirror the end of "Married." I guess it's weird to start off my season six series with the finale…**_


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